Mitt Romney recently gave a speech at the annual Alfred E. Smith dinner where politicians poke fun at each other. Here are some of his best jokes:
A political campaign can involve a lot of wardrobe changes. You can wear blue jeans in the morning, but a suit at a lunch fundraiser. Then again, fancy clothes are what Ann and I wear around the house.
I was hoping that the President would bring Joe Biden. Because he'll laugh at anything.
Governor Cuomo is a great fellow. He's already being talked about for higher office. But I'm confused about one thing. He's only done one term as governor. And his father was a governor. And he thinks that's enough qualification for running for President?
The final days of President Obama's days as President are here. As we sit and dine at the famous Waldorf Astoria, I wonder what President Obama is thinking. Perhaps, “so little time, so much to redistribute.”
Recently, the job numbers showed a slight improvement. President Obama has a compelling new campaign ad: You're better off than you were four weeks ago.
Usually when I'm invited to prestigious events like this, it's just so that I can be the designated driver.
We recently had a debate. It was a lot of fun. People ask me how I prepare. I try to find a strawman and proceed to beat on him mercilessly. Big Bird never saw it coming.
And in the words of Sesame Street, tonight's dinner is brought to you by the letter O and the words 16 trillion.
Both President Obama and I are fortunate in that we both have a person who is always in our corner and helps us deal with the stress of the campaign. I have my beautiful wife, Ann, and he has Bill Clinton.
I don't complain about media bias. I have a job to do and they have a job to do. My job is to communicate my personal vision for the country and their job is to prevent anyone from finding out about it.