Michael Phelps has had a lawsuit filed against him by the sun. The main complaint, the sun alleges, is that Phelps is now considered hotter than it is. When asked if it has evidence, the sun was coy, but referred to several compromising photographs taken just after the winningest gold medalist of all time stepped out of the water after Sunday night’s relay match.

Phelps’ defence, we have learned, is going to be that it is not his fault that nature provided him with the long, lean body of a swimmer and the face of a Greek god. According to unnamed sources, Phelps is considering a countersuit against the sun, for just being jealous. Meanwhile, the sun has hinted that more revealing photographs of an inappropriate nature will help its case against the world champion.

I will keep you posted on this important case.